Small steps can lead to big changes

'You've just got to believe in yourself'

'Follow your dreams'

'Just take a chance'

Common and I'm sure well meaning advice that is given whenever you are musing about your future. Well meaning but quite frankly, not very useful for the majority of people who can't just quit their job (hello bills) or invest in equipment (the bank says no) or whatever it is that is being made out to be just a small stumbling block on your road to success. But only it's not a small stumbling block, it's real life.

I can't get on board with that type of advice. Maybe I'm just bitter and cynical but it sounds too much like it's saying you're not wishing hard enough or you don't want it as much. I honestly wish it was as simple as what we tell our kids, just close your eyes and wish upon a star and it just magically happens.

But we all know that's not life folks.

For a start it involves graft. Serious, consistent and long term graft but that doesn't make quite as good a quote for Facebook as all the 'dream it and you can achieve it' stuff. And secondly, I don't know many people who can just take big risks on such a whim with no plan (because who needs plans when they have dreams?) especially people with responsibilities.

Like I said, I can't get on board with that advice but I also don't believe people have to be stuck in their current situations. If someone would have told 19 year old, pregnant me who left sixth form with less than stellar A levels and an 'over it' attitude toward education that I would end up doing a degree and looking into post graduate options I would have probably cried laughing (well I was hormonal so it may have been actual crying). At that time and in that situation, young, pregnant, unstable relationship, limited work experience and qualifications, I thought I had to accept a minimum wage type existence.

Once my head cleared of all that baby fog you get in the first year I realised I could do more, but I had to research all the different options I was interested in, the pathways to get there and assess what I was capable of doing and when. This is where I give a little shout out to Lancaster and Morecambe college, they were amazingly supportive letting me join a course a little late and a wonderful teacher that made it her mission to get Jett into the college nursery despite there not being any spaces left.

That was reasonably manageable but the next step, university, was a lot more daunting and was not going to be as simple. By this point it was just me and Jett and I wasn't going to be able to manage on just student loans but I was lucky enough to get a job that was pretty flexible around study days and childcare. Now I'm in my third year and barely maintaining my sanity so although it's do-able I wouldn't recommend it to everyone.

However what I do recommend is exploring where you want to go in life and take some small steps to get yourself there. Check out the local college, look into evening classes, volunteer, speak to the University admissions team (I've heard the Open University is great for studying from home around work etc.) anything really that is going to get you that bit closer to where you want to be. It doesn't have to be all or nothing and you don't have to always take big risks for it to pay off in the end.